i managed to lock myself out of this account for a couple of days? seriously im sure the password was right! i tried everything else!
anyways im over my moment of gimpyness.

Yesterday sucked a little. only because i was tired and weak all day and SO COLD then i got home late and went pretty much straight to bed then when i got up i was so fucking exhausted and thursdays are the shittest days for classes and i knew i had work tonight and i just wasn't in the mood for my life. then the shower was cold and the scales are like "guess what? yup: GAIN!" evil fucker.

So i didn't feel too great. But i got through the last classes of the semester. only three exams to go. I actually do feel so fucking relieved that i made it though. Like just knowing class is over for a while im so fucking at peace inside its stupid.

Had so many gross calories today. Cereal, salami & mozz & sdt roll (just...ew, there are no words) then at work it was...green beans and carrots with lovely baby potatoes and some breaded pork. I eat it all because im a pig. Feel super disgusting. my skin is like a plague victim. yum.

Lunch at noodle bar with my mum tomorrow i think. at least im walking around the shops all day. won't eat anything but lunch. so so so unhappy. I'm clearly going to gain again tomorrow. hate my numbers obsession. im not that dumb, i know that type of gain isn't me putting on proper fat but i feel awful anyways.

i always forget boys are meant to eat more than us. (wonder who to blame for that) seems unfair. 500 is like half my daily intake. they get 500 MORE than us a day? how is that fair? whatever i've eaten like 1500 at least today. god im so disgusting. want all this crap out my system now. i hate days that make me want to throw up.

xoxo