so im starting from scratch. it's going to be awesome. going to flush myself out with water tonight i think. Have awesome fic to read, some christmas cards to write and a whole bottle of diet coke waiting for me at home in the fridge!

I'm going to be so fucking tiny i swear to god i will be able to count my bones. Really fucking excited to actually work at my life. i think this weekend at home actually helped me sort my head out. thank fucking god.

Need to clear my system out from all this "comfort eating" this week. Skin is seriously skanky. The scale is going to be sad times tomorrow but i need to know where i am to motivate my fat ass! Need to go on the crosstrainer more since i'm not walking as much over the holidays.

on 700 (approx) but it's only just afternoon and hopefully this means i won't have to have anything at all tonight. very fucking excited.

Oh and cobra got postponed so i have an unknown amount of time to get thin enough to fit into those nice pinstripe trousers. Yey for that!


ok so i'll just overly happy today! can't wait to get back to my flat and cosy and just be really fucking hungry tonight.

xoxo

been around annoying uptight middle-aged suburbanites all day. they stress me out. i dont understand the need for their existance. everything about them is ridiculous.

Dads lying on the sofa watching football and sleeping. He snores loudly and talks alot in his sleep. Be nice if he didn't do this all evening.
Mums upstairs getting ready to go out. Being as moody and bitchy as ever. nothing ever goes right, everything is a big deal.
Taylors playing his xbox and on the net i think. Was gonna send him music but he isnt replying to me on msn so i guess i wont.

so far today:
tea, bite of cake, smoothie, 2 veggie burger and pasta salad. lunch was like 530 i think. so 800-1000. Hate not having control over the numbers. It's ok though. I just need this crap out of my body. Always miss feeling empty. Have alot of diet coke and theres fruit in the house if i do need to eat.

Mum wants to make this random chicken thing tomorrow but i'm meant to be seeing linz etc. If i can fake some takeout food i'll be super fucking happy. Mum also bought a chocolate cake for christmas day. It's what we tested. It's really nice, still going to make mince pies though.

Want my dad to go out. Sick of having to watch football when he's just snoring through it. It's boring and making me sad.

Getting dark already. Gonna read for a bit and hope i can to turn the tv over later. Today is just a really nice day.


xoxo

yey for liquid calories? lol not really just happy to be back in control. To have some perpective. its motivating.

Just chilling out at home today. Listening to music, lots of fic to read, gotta wrap linz present, might watch some more dexter as well later. Hoping my dad goes out to the pub or something so i can have tv. (i don't even watch anything on it i just like to flick sometimes and have music channels on in the background.)

So fucking glad i don't live here any more. As much as im lost and feel like ive failed yea? i don't care getting out of here and having my own flat is the best thing i've ever done.

laters. v happy!!! Gonan make the most of it.


xoxo

Walking to work today there were some men absailing down the trees in Princes St Gardens, now it's dark and all the christmas lights they were putting up are switched on around the trees on the mound and it actually feels so lovely and wintery!

I'm so happy i love the look of those lights, makes me think of early dark and shopping for presents and getting mulled wine at the christmas market. yey for winter i love this season so much!

Still freaking out about what to even buy people but i'm sure i'll manage to come up with something. That reminds me, Linz seems to expect us to do presents again this year, must reply to her and get her something!

cereal (200)
banana (200)
apple (120)
beef stew (600)
tea (50)

So around 1200 but i feel ok. Little bit bloated but thats because i've been lax with the soda. If my period comes it'll get rid of this bloating.
Otherwise i'm just happy that it's winter and soon it'll be christmas holidays!  So totally the best time of year!

xoxo