At the time of writing:
68 (days)
11 (hours)
44 (minutes)
40 (seconds)

until christmas. 68 days. Then it's like half way through the fucking year. I always tell myself to make the fucking most out of what little routine we have these days because after christmas it's always such a fucking shock. Only a few months left of class, then spring break, the exams then BOOM second year OVER.

I don't want to lose everything i have this year. I'm dying to be good enough to just go abroad now. I want a university in Tokyo. Preferably Waseda/Gakushuin. I'm not good enough to get into them though I don't think. I need to study more or something.

Everyone seem like they're waiting for some big drama to happen. I don't like it.

thinkhappythoughtsthinkhappythoughtsthinkhappythoughtsthinkhappythoughtsthinkhappythoughts

39minutes44seconds.

*sigh*

i want to stay here forever. i want to be ready to get on a plane tonight. i don't want anything to change we have it perfect. there are so many fucking problems just screaming in our faces and we're ignoring them. everything is going to blow up really soon. i see problems where there is nothing.

I'm happy. I feel strong enough to fight that stupid fucknig depression if it comes back. I think I'll only get better as the year abroad comes closer. I want to be around then to go to Japan. I was scared before that i'd lost all fucking desire to even learn this any more. It's ok though, i feel like i belong here. Languages, this language...just feels right.

34 minutes.
10 seconds.
and counting